MOU Grand Prix: Falkirk Night Race

5 Nov 2010 by Graham Lyons - Uncategorized 1 Comment »

As the lights went out on the grand final of the first night race of the season, not one of the racers gunning for the first corner, with gritted teeth, feted brows and the scent of victory in their nostrils, could tell how controversial the following 20 laps would be…

It all started so languidly too, with racers like Neil Jarrett drifting into the paddock a bit late thanks to a fairly obscure route up to the track. The mood in the pre race lounge was calm and with the start of the race delayed all was serene and the racers even had a chance to sample the delightful cuisine on offer at the Falkirk Circuit’s ‘Extreme’ restaurant.

The warm up races were running late, and as all the Cozy Digital racers arrived news filtered through that the reason for the delay was thanks to a horrific accident earlier in the day. This news was met with some mirth amongst the hardened competitors but when pressed, the newcomers had to admit that they were not entirely sure what they had let themselves in for, especially coming in to such a high level of competition as novices.

After the final briefing, racers made their way down to the track to scope out the track in the flesh…

As the cold October evening sunk in and the racers stepped out into the fuel saturated atmosphere, the lights over the track blink tentatively into light, as if aware and apprehensive about the drama they were about to witness…

The Heats

The Falkirk track is a treacherously tight course with few places to pass without being forced to use dirty bumper car tactics. The home straight leads into a tunnel complex which then leads on to the toughest corner on the track. After this there is the Falkirk Knoll, which has seen countless disasters in the past. Many Cozy Digital racers voiced concerns at the state of the surface on the hill, but as always in this situation, track marshals at Falkirk say: “it’s not called ‘Extreme’ for nothing…pal!” The knoll leads on to an immediate left right chicane and then a pedal to the floor burn for the line. Not long, but long enough…

‘Too extreme’ was the term used when the first heat got underway. After no more than a few laps had passed all hell had immediately broken loose, several racers (apparently smelling blood) had gone mad and had a go at the nearest bumper. Marshalls stopped the race soon after the beginning of the first heat. Red and yellow lights whirled and flags waved frantically as the marshal’s had obviously not been quite prepared for the unreserved passion of an Cozy Digital race day. ‘Calm down’ they said…

The 4 preliminary heats passed with a cacophony of roaring engines and squealing tyres swiftly followed by rapturous debate following every chequered flag. The tension was building like a kettle nears the boil, and with some early pace setters confident of a place in the final and a few surprise placing in the heat feelings ranged from smug to satisfied in the paddock as those who made it into the A and B Finals was announced:

A Final

Rob Sznajder
Neil Jarrett
Michael Hanna
Graham Lyons
Stephen Fitz
Mark Chaipand
Adam Wilson
Michael Kirkbright
Craig Ballantyne

B Final

Anton Dupliy
Brian Ramsay
Jen Lamont
Kamil Miekus
Enrico “Il Toro” Taricco
Kevin Lawrence
Jason Moroney
Max Dupliy
Fraser Grant

Those who missed out on a place in the A Final by fastest lap, felt particularly hard done by as the times were so incredibly close.

B Final

The B Final roared into life with Anton “The Bear” Dupliy, a shock omission from the A Final, starting in pole. For most of the race, things went smoothly, aside from the black flag received early on by Max “Mad Max” Dupliy who got a little over excited.

The main incident of the race didn’t arrive until the very last lap when the race was stopped with racers agonizingly close to the finishing line. With Anton, Brian “Rambo” Ramsay and Enrico “Il Toro” Taricco locked in a final tussle for the podium and only a few corners to go, it seemed like the 1,2,3 was already written, but thanks to the race being stopped so close to the end, and with the pack right up on the tail of the leaders, anything could happen as the lights suddenly blinked out. With the immediate gush of racers ploughing down the knoll, racers were fouled and places dropped and gained within a corner and a half, with the eventual winner making a stunning move to leapfrog all the way to the front just in time to take the chequered flag. Jason ‘Luck of the Irish’ Moroney pulls it out the bag after starting in 7th.

B Final Standings

Jason Moroney
Anton Dupliy
Enrico Taricco
Brian Ramsay
Fraser Grant
Kevin Lawrence
Jen Lamont
Kamil Miekus
Max Dupliy DNF

Grand Final

Go Go Go! The Cozy Digital Grand Prix Final began with an explosion of engines and a screeching of tyres, demanding grip on the flood lit grid as the racers careened into the first lap. A predictable front row of Rob “MacGyver” Sznajder and Neil “Jehova” Jarrett were closely followed by Michael “Schumacher” Hanna and Graham Lyons aka Captain Cozy Digital in hot pursuit. Speed demon Craig “Lightning” Ballantyne started in a surprising last place after some erroneous heat results, leaving the main field looking nervously over their shoulders from the start.

Even by halfway through the first lap, it was clear that these racers had already mastered the track. Corners clipped, racing lines nailed and braking zones demolished already leaving nothing but each driver’s skill and battling spirit to make or break the race…

Suddenly just as the race was getting into a pattern, the Falkirk Knoll captured a number of early victims as a pile up occurred on the second lap. This took out the favourites and opened the race up to strong competitors like Mark “Ace” Chaipand and Adam “Lucky” Wilson to take advantage of their mistakes. The leading pack made good time and were looking to have built up a massive lead when controversy struck…

The red lights of doom swirled around the track. Racers came to a puzzled stop as they craned their sweaty necks around to see that no one was lying upside down in the tyres and everyone still had their heads…though Craig did have broken ribs.

A flustered looking marshal crept sheepishly on to the track and approached the lead driver. He explained that their top quality, world class, 5 star, extreme racing computer system…had crashed, and that the whole race would need to be started again.

For some racers this was an excellent turn of events as they had fallen behind after starting at the front. Now they would have a second chance. While for others this was terrible news as they had made it through a tough field and were in with a chance of a podium spot. Why did they not restart the race in the positions they were in when it was stopped? Surely that’s the fair thing to do? In fact don’t they do exactly that in F1?

Despite the protests, the race was restarted back in the original grid positions and the race passed without incident after that. Here are the final standings: